Many parents arrive at the parental control party a little bit late. Perhaps they gave their child a phone, not really understanding the dangers that could be associated with it, and decided after the fact that parental controls needed to be put in place. This situation happened to my sister. Upon finding brand new parental controls on her phone, she ran to her room weeping and wailing and telling her parents they were ruining her life.

Of course, my niece eventually got over it and learned to live with her new restrictions. Whether your child is getting a brand new phone complete with parental controls in place, or you are adding them after they have had free reign on their device for a while, it is important for your children to know exactly why you are implementing a parental control app.

When you are having this conversation with your children, help them to understand that installing parental controls on their phone has nothing to do with whether or not you trust them. It is more about you wanting to teach them proper use until they figure out how to manage it themselves. Explain that it’s similar to how you are teaching them how to save and budget their money. You give them an allowance and show them how to pay for things until they are ready to handle it themselves as an adult.

If they still don’t quite understand, here are a few more things to talk to your kids about to help them understand why parental controls are necessary.

Kids Are Impulsive

One thing about children is that they are impulsive. It’s not an opinion, it is scientific fact that because children’s brains are not fully developed they lack some impulse control that continues to develop and strengthen as they grow. This doesn’t give kids a free excuse to do whatever they want, but it does explain some of the reasons kids do the things they do. Even many adults can have an issue with impulse control.

Putting parental controls on children’s devices allows them to think twice about the things they post, knowing that someone will be checking up on them. It also helps limit the impulsive behavior by locking down access during hours of the day when brains aren’t firing on all cylinders. As children learn to control their impulses better, they can be allowed more access and less control from their parents.

Kids Don’t Know About the World

Another problem kids can encounter through unmanaged devices is introductions into worlds they are not ready to handle. Although it is not legal for many children under the age of 13 to have social media accounts like Facebook and Instagram, many of them still do. However, there is a reason the age limit is 13. Children under that age are not ready to handle the world of social media. Many kids over 13 are still not ready to handle it. They don’t know how to spot malicious behavior or even understand that what they post online can last forever, even if it is deleted.

Kids Will Make Mistakes

While you may trust your child, and they have great impulse control, and amazing knowledge of how the world works, nobody is perfect. They will make mistakes. Fortunately for them, you are checking up on them. When they do make a mistake, even accidentally, you will be there to help them understand why it was a problem and help them correct it.

As the old saying from Ronald Regan goes, “Trust, but verify” While you do trust your children, you want to verify that they aren’t doing anything they aren’t supposed to be doing.